Third in the series on the impact of suicide

SOCIETY-WIDE -- There is the perception, maybe implication is a better word, that this family or that is above the drama of life, and seldom anything more malodorous than trail dust sticks to their boots.

The reality is much different. None of us are perfect, and sometimes life hits us in the soft spot.

We were what we thought a typical two-career family. As she grew, our daughter developed a passion for people coupled with a strong-willed personality. We learned later she was also fighting some demons we likely still don't know 20 years later.

On a particular afternoon early in her senior year, our daughter and I were home while my wife was working. Something like that. It has been a few years. One of her friends burst in the front door like he was part of the family. He was in tears as he ran back to Jill's room. We find out she had taken some pills. 

The immediate thought is "What?!" The short story is she was treated and came out of it OK. We had family therapy ... once. My wife and I noticed the therapist had much different values than we did. 

The humbling lesson we walked away with is sometimes a parent doesn't see the signs. Sometimes the tide is so deep, a father and mother may be left wondering how they missed "the obvious." 

We learned later young people want their parents to be involved, even beyond what society thinks is proper. Her friends told us so after her funeral.

Love your children. Insist on hearing their adventures daily, know their friends as well as possible. Do your best to raise a confident, value-filled, adult. Do everything you can to protect the home, emotionally, spiritually and physically. The tough part is admitting you don't always have the answers.